Enthusiasm.Determination

2010-05-23T02:29:00.000-07:00

i'm such a loser. aint a man at all. i jus couldnt take it like a man. i jus had to do this things and say those words to hurt u so that i could feel better. what a god damn loser i am. i wish for u to be happy too. if possible stay happy while being with me. but i made everything impossible now. being with me made me realised how bad a guy i was. i couldnt give u anything u want and only cause u hurt and pain with my actions and words. maybe its only the beginning that he treats u nice but i really hope he will treat u better den i do. and i believe he will. i am sorry for being such a lousy bf to u for this 1 year 21 days. i don have any rights to hold on to u anymore. u are not a bitch, i am the jerk.

if i had stayed and u had tried, what would become of us now? i still love u, still miss u and care for u. can u feel it? i doubt so. i am the biggest loser in this world.

2010-05-20T07:01:00.000-07:00

10 days have passed since we broke up. during this period of time i have many many thoughts going thru my mind. i was with her 1 year 21days. this might not be a very long time for everyone but to me this is my longest r/s. i was really serious towards her but it jus results in her leaving me. so y must i be so serious?

for once in my whole life, i tried being serious about somebody and it backfired. causing me the pain and hurt that i nv thought would happen to me. even after we broke up, her lies didnt stop. it jus got worse and really, i am afraid for her words already. worse still, she could justify her lies jus by saying, its all white lies. said jus solely for me, to preserve out r/s. its so scary to see this happening.

i am not a saint. i do lie to others whether its white lies or real lies. i do hurt ppl with my lies. and now finally i realised the seriousness of lies. her lies have hurt me too much. i cant promise i wont ever lie again but i will try my very best not to.

2010-05-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

i was resting in the restroom in camp today and i was alone. missing u so much, it made me took out yr photo in my wallet to see u. this is the only way i can see yr face now. without realising it in an instant, i found myself talking to the u in the photo. asking u alot of qns that u can't ans at all. i feel so dumb!

u are unhappy? is it cause of me? miss me? u said u wanna give up but i am not sure y. therefore i wanna tell u don give up. there is always jus that lil bit of hope in everything. including us! believe in whatever u can believe ok.

I LOVE U!

2010-05-12T04:24:00.000-07:00

today i am on mc cause i fell sick due to flu and cough. so for the whole day i had to stay home to recuperate. during this whole period of time, i jus keep thinking about u. yes u! EUODIA TAN WAN YING. i sat around in my room flipping thru everything that concerns u. yr fb, yr pics, yr msn, yr psp and the cards that u made for me. everything jus makes me long for u!

wonder if it's fate or coincidence. i was in this website while surfing the net and i saw this very interesting sentence that caught my eye immediately.

it says - FORGIVENESS IS THE FINAL FORM OF LOVE by Reinhold Niebuhr. i dono who the hell this guy is but his one sentence made me understood everything and got me out of my confusion.

i love u euodia tan wan ying and for this reason i forgive everything u have done. maybe we will nv be back together but i still wanna show u my love for the last time even if u will nv notice it. I HAVE ALREADY FORGIVEN U!

having said all this, i wanna congratulate u for successfully graduating from poly. i saw the photos of u in yr graduation gown le. u look so beautiful in it.

I MISS U, GIRL! are u getting along well? where have u been this few days? do u miss me? so many qns running thru my mind but i can't ask any. i still wanna know everything about u. what u are doing today? what u ate today? EVERYTHING, tell me girl cause i love u and i miss u!

2010-05-11T03:42:00.000-07:00

oh my god!!!!!! i really wanna shout it out loud. let everything that is hidden in my heart be released! how can u do this to me? jus broke up like one day and u start flirting in facebook with yr colleague. wtf is this? are u really planning on treating me as an idiot even after our break up. u are so hateful! i gave my all in this r/s, u know? i guess its jus like what my friends said. i was serious towards the wrong person le. always saying i am a flirt and all but what happens in the end? i see u flirting with yr colleague in fb. fuck man. u are such a BITCH!

2010-05-10T06:54:00.001-07:00

hi to my one and only remaining follower of this stupid blog, which is me myself. hahaha kinda stupid isnt it. i decided to blog because sth unhappy happened to me. til now i am still feeling very upset. how sld i describe this pain i am experiencing now. nv ever felt this way b4. SO DEPRESSING!

let's get back on track! what kinda mistakes can u give forgive and what kind u cant forgive? someone close did sth to me and i really really wanna forgive her and keep her by my side. yet my male ego and pride forbids me to do so. am i being a male chauvinist here?

let's anaylse this whole situation - yr gf told u that she had lie to her best friend that she is in another r/s with another guy. which means its a fake r/s, right? and so u tot she jus verbally told her best friend that. would u forgive this? if yes den stop reading and move yr cursor to the cross sign at the top right hand corner and close off this window. if yr ans is no den pls continue scrolling down.

so directly u go home and view yr gf's facebook status, and what u see next shocks u totally like a lighting strike. her fb status shows she is in another r/s with another guy. up til now can anyone forgive this? let's continue.

next u flare up and u call yr gf and qn her y is her status that way. and what she says is - its all for fun! so both of u start arguing and she keeps asking u to forgive her while still maintaining that status. no matter how much u said, she jus wont remove the status. ok now would u think that she is lying? and that she is in actual fact in a real r/s with another guy. not like what she said in the first place, that everything is jus a misunderstanding and a fake. would u think she is two timing u? I WOULD! however she keeps saying no and ask u to forgive her. would u?

every one of this things that i jus mention is all happening to me now. and it has caused me my r/s cause i refused to forgive her and left her. did i do the right thing? i really love this girl and so much wanna be with her but will everything go back to the same if we start all over again. will the feelings still be the same? i'm in a confusion mode right now and feeling very stress, sad and depress, anything u can use to describe an unhappy mood, u can use it now.

1year 21days and in one night, everything is gone, leaving only memories of us behind.

2010-02-01T04:14:00.000-08:00

Day 3 (01/02/2010) :

You don't know how happy i am to receive your message today even though it was just a message to ask me to return you your jacket. i know you are suffering because of me but i too am suffering in silence for the decision i made. do you even know it? i don't wanna tell you because i love you. i have my personal problems and i am caught in between. i thought about it long and hard, came up with the decision and muster all my courage to bring it up to you. i didn't meant to say those nasty, hurtful and heartless words to you. i had my reasons and it's not how you think it is.

You said you still love me. do you know i love you still too? and i still feel the same for you just like the past 9 months even after our break up. i am sorry i hurt you but at the same time i hurt myself too. i don't understand why can't we even be friends at all. i really wish we could end this on a happy note and still be friends because i don't want to lose contact with you. guess i can only think about it now. nothing gonna help or savage anything from our broken relationship anymore.

2010-01-31T06:37:00.000-08:00

Day 1 without you by my side, 30/01/2010 :

Yesterday, i was out with hsiu chi in the afternoon randomly walking ard amk hub and city hall area. afterwhich i went over to supperclub to attend one of my best friend, SHINE's birthday. i wasn't really in the mood to go down but still i made it over there. i enjoyed myself over there and during that period i push behind all my troubles and just let my hair down for that few hours.

We left the club at ard 4am and slack outside the club area before everyone else left for home except me. walking aimlessly down the street with thoughts of just you towards bugis, i found myself in front of st joseph church. for once, i look up at the cross on the top of the church and sat down on a bench. i don't know what got into me but i actually closed my eyes with both hands held together, i began praying to someone i never believed in before; Jesus. i hope my wish comes true.

Day 2 without you by my side, 31/01/2010 :

For the whole day, i was just sitting down in front of my com and rot my time away. i couldn't muster up any strength to do anything except stare into blank space. wondering how you are and what you are doing but i can't really do anything about it and jus wondered. looked through your facebook and found out actually you were taking things in your stride, way better than i do. i can feel the pain. never thought that losing you would bring me this amount of pain. are you already used to not having me around by your side in just merely 2 days? i am not used to it seriously and i think about you every now and then.

2009-09-11T10:52:00.000-07:00

u said we were alike but in actual fact he was better than me. i am always not able to put myself into yr shoes when we quarrel until much later when i have calm down. i really don like it but we are always quarreling a few times in jus one week. we can be very happy at one moment den suddenly turn gloomy the next moment. all this can happen in jus a single day. i dono y are we like tis but i will change and make our r/s a sweeter one.

i know i am not a very nice guy or a very nice bf, and my reputation sucks like hell. but its true tat i love u and my feelings are god damn true. i dono a lot of things regarding r/s cuz everything does not bother me in the past so i don give a damn bout wat others wan from me. however its kinda diff now, i care bout how u wan me to be, i care bout how i can become a better bf to u and i care bout u. so it takes me some time to figure how i can achieve the above mentioned. i get quite dumb when it comes to this.

also i know the sense of security is a prob to u. i am trying to achieve this but it seems i am still not getting there. this is the only thing u said he was superior over me and it means a lot to me. without this sense of security, i can nv make u trust me completely which i need some from u.

2009-04-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

recently i am so addicted to mahjong that i am going to become a mahjong addict. hmm no not really going to, i am alr a mahjong addict. hahaha but i am loving it. mahjong is jus so fun for me and it has become an integrated part of my life. i am almost playing every week, lol.

let's see, what else do i have to blog about? OH!!! nth at all. haha bye. tc ppl.

2009-04-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
_______________________________________________________________

god damn it, this quiz results that i took are so INSANELY true. especially the seriousness of my love and what i am afraid of. basically i jus showed some of my traits to someone recently. i didnt know how to handle the situation between me and her, so i kinda like lost my temper and acted childishly. i guess i disappointed her and lost all her trust that she has built for me over the past 1mth. now everything is over and i have calm down but i dono how to salvage anything back. in fact i cant even try. she is probably fretting over whether she sld accept the guy she likes now. though i don talk to her anymore but i am still concern about her life.

god save me, i have got some serious prob of split personality and i seriously fucking hate that. how do i overcome split personality? it causes me to say one thing but do another. it doesnt allow me to understand what i truly wants and needs. 21years and still counting, but i still haven figure out what i want in life and what i want in the ppl ard me. 21years and counting, but i am still unable to fully comprehend what the fuck am i all about. y am i here for? what is the meaning of my life now? OMG i seriously need a saviour, a light to guide me out of this mess. fuck it man, i am in a real MESS now. DAMN IT!

2009-03-30T12:16:00.000-07:00

one moment i am a guy u are afraid to lose cuz i place all my attention to u but the next time u are ditching me aside cuz u found someone else u like and will place his attention on u. wat am i to u? a spare tyre? u said in the past u wont treat me as one but now yr actions show otherwise. u told me not to worry cuz u are not interested in the guy but wat happens in the end? u are telling me now u and him are acting like couple already. holding hands, hugging each other and kissing. OMG, to hell with u.

hello, miss M u say i am putting words into yr mouth. ya right now i'm gonna stuff my dick into yr mouth. u idiot, stop all tat hoo ha on me giving u attitude even though u did nth wrong. u might not have done sth wrong but yr actions and words are so discreeting that it makes me wonder.

but seriously, i have to praise u too. cuz without u, i wouldnt have totally and truly understand tat being nice to a gal doesnt get her affection. gals always scream about guys not being sweet enough or gentlemen enough, but when a guy really does they still get snub. so tell me ppl, wat's the point? jus be nice and gentlemen to yr own gf. at least they will appreciate more den jus ORDINARY FEMALE FRIENDS.

seriously, up til this day i have nv been so upset and scolded a gal b4 in my blog. u are the first one miss M. u sld be honoured, thanks to me. ya i am jus an immatured amatuer and u are one god damn matured fucking figgot. shut the hell up man slut. i don need u in my life, fuck off =)

2009-03-29T07:10:00.000-07:00

finally met up with shuhui today. went to watch confessions of a shopaholic and oh it was nice. i think all girls love to be a shopaholic, maybe sometimes guys also.

anyway i haven told anyone i am blogging again so i guess no one will be reading my blog. haha.

i don have much to blog about today so i shall end here. bye.

2009-03-26T19:29:00.000-07:00

This is my first post in many months. I had actually been tired of blogging but today i suddenly have the urge to blog down some of my feelings, and the inspiration come from XR.

I have nv met someone who i wanna spend my life with so much b4 until i met XR. I have nv told her this b4 but i always feel XR was the one i am going to marry. However probs always arise when we at the happiest moment and we get upset over it a lot of times. I wish it wasnt true but i have no choice but to admit i was the cause for everything including our break up.

Today XR finally reply me but it was her friend who help her to do that. XR said "I WILL NOT MEET U ANYMORE, SO PLS STOP CONTACTING ME". Suddenly i felt like something was weighing on top of me. My mind went into a blank and i really dono what to think or say anymore.

This day has finally come and today its officially over between me and XR. Yest i kept looking at the things XR has bought and made for me. It got me thinking again and again, y was i so foolish and dumb in the past to not notice what she wanted of me. It was a very simple task yet i am unable to meet her expectations. I feel so gulity cause for the period XR was with me i really hurt her a lot. I am sorry, XR.

Til now i still love u very much. I dono when will be the next time we will ever meet again and i wont be able to say it to u face to face. So i wanna tell u, XR, i wish u will find yr happiness in life and always be happy. I LOVE U and u will always remain in my heart and mind.

2008-07-25T06:59:00.000-07:00

u have made it easier for me to make this decision...thanks a lot...i was still fretting over what i sld do but u have made life easy for me now...

2008-07-24T04:33:00.000-07:00

today wasnt a very good day for me...i had mixed feelings running through my heart...i was happy cause i had my wonderful friends ard me but at the same time i was feeling upset, cause i am still wondering wat happened to u...

fyp is finally going to end soon...another 3 more weeks...it has been a long and tedious yet fun fyp for me...my money source is drying fast, i muz faster go find a job to replenish my spending fund...

its still raining so heavily outside now...i wonder are u already at home, away from this heavy rain...are u keeping yrself warm in this cold weather? take good care of yrself and don fall sick...

2008-07-23T04:57:00.000-07:00

i guess tat was the last time i will be seeing u...watever happens, i hope u are doing well and everything goes smoothly for u...i dono if u still read my blog but i hope u do...thanks for being with me when i am such a jerk, such a lousy guy...i will nv forget u or the times tat we spend tgt...those memories will be in my heart forever...

2008-07-21T05:11:00.000-07:00

where are u? u vanished into thin air without any traces for me to follow...no matter how i msg u or call u, u still ignore all my advances...are u trying to stop all contact with me? if tat is so, jus give me a hint and i will do tat...

2008-06-30T05:52:00.000-07:00

no matter how hard i try to be good and nice towards u, i know at the end of the day yr heart still returns to him and only him...i know i sldnt feel this way but its hard, that's y i am surpressing my feelings deep down...i don think i will wanna let u know or rather i don have the chance to let u know...so that's the way it shall be, i will keep my presence in the dark...

BOTTOMLESS PIT!!

2008-06-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

i am loving it the way as it is now...attachment has ended and now i am back in sch for my final year project for 3mths...weekdays are a chore and weekends are a joy...how many mths haven i been able to spend my days alone at home absolutely doing nth...life is jus so simple and tat is always wat i wish for...but things doesnt always go my way so i shall enjoy whatever peaceful quiet moment i have now...

returning back to sch was fun but i am still deeply affected by my mistake...living as a stranger with u without memories is such a painful process for me...i wish u to see u but at the same time i don wish to see u too...tis is complicating...hoping for yr appearance cause i wanna know how are getting along, are u fine and if u are doing great, i feel happy too...but at the same time when i see u, u will jolt back all the memories we have once again...

PONDERING OVER MY THOUGHTS!!

2008-05-29T07:06:00.000-07:00

as hard as i try to do wat i have promised u, the moment i saw u i jus cant help it but think of it...i cant really forget everything and be strangers without memories with u...there are jus some things that cant be erase jus cuz i say i wan to...til this day i still wonder of the many possibilities...

today someone ask me am i always so noisy and i replied most of the time...i didnt think much at that time til i saw u...my mind went into a blank and i wasnt able to even make a sound out...looking at yr back view from afar, i think that is the only time when i cant even speak...

HOW I WISH!!!

2008-05-07T04:40:00.000-07:00

woots, wonder how long it has been since i have blog...so many things have happen during this period of time when i stop blogging...so now i am currently doing my attachment in AMK, STA inspection...2mths 1week and a half have passed, and i am left with another 2 and a half week b4 i offically complete my attachment...but i still have to return to sch again for my FYP(final year project)...sian =( what to do, don go back cant graduate...happy attachment and fyp to me

went to vivo to do some shopping recently and went into tis shop "RIVER ISLAND", saw so many things that i wanna buy...so have to wait til my next pay to arrive first...

I STILL SEE U IN MY DREAMS

2008-04-04T08:03:00.000-07:00

today i had a battle with death...went to clarke quay to take a ride on the extreme swing and the bungee...i was quite excited b4 i went up for the ride but when the extreme swing got up to its peak, the feeling was totally different...when i look down my heart jus kept thumping away...finally when hc pulled the string we jus simply "DROPPED" down but after the first swing, the fear of the ride was so great anymore...after the extreme swing, we paid another 20bucks for the bungee ride...the ride was so fucking scary...i tot nth much of it when i sat on the seat but when the thing jus suddenly bounce off the ground, i was suddenly overwhelm with tremedous fear...at one point of time when my body was facing the ground and wasnt in contact with the seat, my mind simply went blank...i jus tot i was going to drop off the front the seat and fall to my death...hahaha...i only got back to my senses after the third jump...seriously even though my eyes were open all the while, it was as though i was blind, i didnt really see my surroundings...

EVERYONE IS WAITING FOR SOMEONE =)

2008-04-02T04:12:00.000-07:00

HSIU CHI's BIRTHDAY, 28/2

2008-04-02T03:52:00.000-07:00

well i think i said in my previous post that i will post the pics for my christmas party at hc's hse as soon as i receive it, but i guess i was simply too lazy to blog...4mths later, the blogging mood finally crawl its way back into me and i decided to post the pics up...here are all the pics...

SG's SIPDERMAN?

JAS's CHRISTMAS PRESENT

I LOOK LIKE A VAMPIRE IN THIS PIC

2007-12-27T07:18:00.000-08:00

christmas was a high...everyone gathered at HC's hse for our very own little christmas dinner...went over to CH's hse to prepare the turkey and sausages...after which, we went over to HC's hse to get everything ready for the dinner to start...

when everything was donw, we realise that we simply had too much food for the 8 of us to finish...in the end, we even had to play poker to decide our fate, and see who is the most unfortunate of all to have to eat the food...played til we really couldnt take it anymore, we decided to take a rest and had our gift exchange during the process...

JASMINE was the luckiest of all to get HC's present...lol...u people sld know y...she is the champ of champ...hahaha...and i got JH's gift, a LOVE BOX...after the gift exchange, it was photo taking session and we took quite a number of pics...in the end, we even ended up making our very own little movie, well i guess i sld change it to my own little movie...hahaha...

pics and videos will be up as soon as i receive everything...lets hope NEW YEAR will be a success too...hahaha =)

2007-12-17T08:57:00.000-08:00

It has been so long since we have talked
I hope that things are still the same
hoping they will never change
cause what we had can't be replaced
don't let our memories fade away
keep me in your heart for always

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
stood right by me
through the tears through everything

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
no matter what you're goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go separate ways

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
You stood right by me
through the tears through everything

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

If the day should come when you need someone
(you know that i'll follow)
I will be there
Don't ever let therebe a doubt in your mind
'cause I'll remember you, you

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you,
no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

Forever baby, I'll remember you

2007-12-16T10:22:00.000-08:00

i cant help it but every single day, there will be a moment when i will think of the past and think of u...y do u jus rmb the bad times we had? we did have some great moments tgt but u have forgotten all bout it...how i wish u can rmb the good times we had tgt and give me another chance to salvage sth out of tis situation...i know u are happy, i don wish to disturb, i wish the best for u...but if one day we still have a chance, then i will go for it...

2007-12-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

yest after work, i had plan to go chomp chomp for supper with my colleagues and friends, in the end it ended up becoming a men's drinking session...HC, JH, HWEE and me went over to HC's hse with 8 big cans of carlberg and HWEE even went home to get his chivas down...watch tv for a while b4 everyone got bored and decided to play some games...so we played BIG 2...and the person who lose will have to drink a glass of chivas pure or with mixer...the longer we played, we got more high...even the legendary HAO also start to feel the power of the chivas...hahaha...

in the end, i didnt went for work and got an MC for a whopping 45bucks...45bucks jus for an MC and a packet of 10 tablets for my gastric...FUCK...damn exp but no choice, if i didnt take the MC den i will have to slog my ass out...the one i don ever wanna do after a hang over...

2007-12-10T07:52:00.000-08:00

i have a test tml but i am totally not in the mood to study for it...wonder how am i gonna sit for my test tml? having a slight headache now but still i cant get to slp...i'm still so awake...

still thinking about yest and wondering if it was a mistake...maybe i sldnt have made tat decision...u misinterpreted my intentions but somehow on tat day i could nv find words to defend myself...even if i had, i wouldnt wish to do tat...but i was relieved tat i had made tis choice though it hurts...after so long, things tat i wasnt able to get it out of me i finally said it out...

after much thoughts, i have sorted it all out though there is still tat small amount of pain somewhere...during our time, i am convinced i had done nth wrong except for tat misunderstanding...and now tat i have apologise to u and u have rebuked me, its seriously all over...its sad, yeah i feel it but i can still hold on...

OVER & OUT =)

2007-11-22T09:17:00.000-08:00

1.16am and i haven finish copying my notes...hai another sleepless night...test tml and i haven really study a bit...seriously i also dono wat and how to study for the two test tml...damn shag...still trying my best to figure out wat the hell i am copying from jasmine's notes...

2007-11-18T09:58:00.000-08:00

jerome is back and we met up yest...went to zouk with jerome and reeve yest but i went off first as i had sth else to attend to...so my next destination was hougang, HC's hse...JH was also there, and both said they needed my help...in the end, we ended up needing each other's help...

over at HC's hse, i chat with JY and somehow the more i talk to her, the more i get upset...but i guess she still doesnt get the drift on wat i was telling her...soon after, silence was the only thing tat feels the whole surrounding...each of us troubled over our own woes...i began thinking of her, let's call her J...

the more i thought of J, the more i got turned off...though its been quite sometime, but whenever i thought of her, the suffering i got from her still holds its place within me...i try my very best to convince myself tat she was the one who was playing ard with me but things doesnt always go as planned...i am certain tat i have already let go of her, but its the feelings tat is haunting me tat brings back all the pain...

and now i have fallen for another girl, JY...no matter wat i tell her, it jus seems to fall on deaf ears...to me, she seems someone who will be able to give me the feelings i yearn for but it can nv be accomplished...cause she has given it to someone else...i pretend not to see wat she has wrote for me but the message keeps appearing in my mind...

i know u guys muz be thinking wat a flirt i am...jus within a mth or so and i have already fallen for another girl...but for someone who falls easily in love with someone like me, i jus feel tat when u like someone, u have to fight for it...even if others see u as a playboy, u don give up til the very end cause u might not know it, he/she might jus be the right one for u...and even if it jus end up in vain, at least u wont live to regret it...

2007-11-14T18:21:00.000-08:00

barely slept for 1 hr b4 i woke up and went for work yest...had a men's night with HC and JH at HC's hse...drank quite a lot(red wine, white wine, coffee wine and gao liang) and had a great chat with each other...it was fun and relaxing sitting down tgt, having some wine and chatting merrily...hahaha...

jerome is coming back this sat...i know i will be busy but still i will make time for him...

FRIENDS ARE JUS TOO IMPORTANT TO ME =)

2007-11-10T07:24:00.000-08:00

had a soccer competition in sch today...we got second last year for this competition, but today we lost it in the second round...all because we didnt had someone who knew how to play as a goalkeeper...damn disappointing...8plus jiu reach sch den 11plus jiu lost the game and went home le...lol...

after the soccer match, went to meet HC to head over to town...went ard to do some shopping with the thought of getting a pair of smart shoes but in vain...in the end when JH came over to meet us, we went over to topman and i got myself a baseball tee...hahaha...HC today got a reward with my help and of cause our MONEY...wahahaha...he will know wat i am talking about when he sees this post...lol...

2007-11-08T07:57:00.000-08:00

jerome asked me if i had a facebook account and i didnt have it, so i decided to try it out...jus created an account with it...and discovered tat facebook is so complicated...well, maybe only to me...hahaha...facebook has so many functions tat i am confused about it...lol...i guess u will take sometime b4 i can fully figure out how to use facebook...

having INTERNET APPLICATION test tml, but u haven really study for it...planned to study for it today de since i was at home for the whole day...but seriously i was too lazy to take my notes out and have a go at it...haha

2007-11-05T04:15:00.000-08:00

after 6 long mths, finally i am going to be a confirm staff of giordano...sld have already been confirmed 3mths ago, but my in charge forgot to do my evaluation for me...lol...and now i am finally gonna get my medical card and my 50 bucks of cashiering allowance...

sch has started and it's now the fourth week...tests and projects are starting to pile up...got no time to do shopping at all...sch and work has taken up much of my time...so much things i wanna buy...smart shoes from topman, a bag from options, "THE BEETLES" belt bucket and of cause clothes...

2007-10-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

time passes so fast, its been a year since i created tis blog...not much has changed and i am still the wasy i was 1year ago...jus tat in between i went through many ups and downs...in recent mths, i didnt blog as much as i used to and i tot many ppl who once read my blog would have jus leave my blog aside, but i'm glad there are still ppl who continuously read my blog...it shows tat there are still ppl who thinks of me at times...wahahaha...

saw meiqi at novena square today...she was jus working outside my shop, promoting contact lenses and the solution...its been a while since i last saw her...suddenly i miss those days when me, meiqi, jingni, suk khwan and caiyan were so close, and they treated me as one of their sisters...hahaha...those days, those memories with them are certainly unforgettable...i imsply all four of them...hope we will be able to plan a gathering tgt soon...

2007-10-17T00:07:00.000-07:00

ok and finally i have been able to find time to upload all tis pics taken during my taiwan trip...tis post shall jus be on pics...enjoy guys =)

2007-10-16T22:23:00.000-07:00

and so everything ended...i felt relieved after settling the matter but somehow my chest aches whenever i think of u or look at yr photos...u were a passing facade and now a fading dream...

GIVE IT TO ME,
AND I WILL HOLD IT TIGHT.
TAKE IT AWAY,
AND I WILL LET GO.

i wasnt able to hold it tight enough and so u slowly began to slip away...now tat i have let go, u are free to pursue everything u want...time for me to reorganise my thoughts and move on...

2007-10-13T09:29:00.000-07:00

dono wat happen tis few days...jus couldnt get to slp...lol...tink i got insomia...yest i tried slping at ard 12plus but jus couldnt fall aslp...kept turning and tossing on my bed, and when i look at the time, it was already 2plus...again i tried closing my eyes and force myself to slp, i didnt rmb whether i did fall aslp a not...i only know when i was up at 6, i felt that i hadnt slp a single min...and yet i was really tired...lol...

whole body is aching from the gym trip with jian hao and hsiu chi on thurs...after gym, we went straight for bball til the night...vigorious exercise thru out the whole day...leaving my exhausted body to suffer the side effects afterwards...

2007-10-05T07:48:00.000-07:00

and finally, 6 days is gonna be over...i cant wait to see u...do u know how much badly i miss u for tis 6 days? tell me u miss me too, will u?

I LOVE U

2007-10-03T09:34:00.000-07:00

fuck, six days is so damn long...i am missing u like hell...even though my work is keeping me occupied but still i think of u even when i am working...everyday seems so long...

right or wrong, i dono...i don hold the authority to determine...

my right ankle is getting worse i think...now it hurts even when i walk...i think i really have to listen to my da xiao jie and go see a doctor, and take a rest...guess no more soccer for me for a few mths ba...

sch is starting soon and i cant wait to get back...haha...wat new modules will i be taking this sem and wat the future holds for me from this sem onwards...absolutely clueless and hopeless...HELL YEAH!!! haha...

2007-10-01T04:45:00.000-07:00

so this is the feeling of being in love...u are willing to condone watever the other party does and u just wanna be by her side, and go through everything tgt...from the first day i got to know u, i have nv once felt or thought that we will ever be tgt...yes not even ONCE...and miraculously it happened...so fast that i thought it was just a dream...but no, it was for real...everytime we are tgt, i just hope for the time to come to a halt and we would forever be so happy tgt...but u were always so near, within my reach yet i cant seem to grab hold of u...no matter where u went, who u went out with, i gave my 100% trust to u, even though my mind does wander sometimes...i am just simply caught within u...

six long days, will i be in u for the six days that u are away? no, i sld ask will i be in u for all the days we are tgt? 1 week and 1 day, and still counting...not a long period, I WANNA PROLONG IT...i am counting my steps...

2007-09-28T11:20:00.000-07:00

i cant get to slp now...wondering where u are and wat u are doing now? messages arent being replied and calls just ring like no one else business, without u picking it up...many thoughts of u and other things about u just keep flooding my mind...suddenly i have such low confidence and self esteem...i wonder? tons and tons of things just made me feel so pathetic...i know its impossible and yet i harbour the thoughts of keeping u by my side...with so many guys ard u, i seriously feel like an average guy...well maybe not average, rather a below average dude...i am getting crazy just thinking of it...

I LOVE U

2007-09-26T06:19:00.000-07:00

hi guys, i am back from taiwan...actually i was already back from taiwan on last sun, but i was simply to lazy to blog all 7 days on my trip to taiwan...time jus seems to pass so fast...ok i shall start with day 1...

16sept

reached taiwan at about 5plus and waited to HC to arrive and fetch us to his uncle hse...i realised tat taiwan's sky turns dark very early, ard 5 to 6 plus jiu seems like singapore's 8-9plus like tat...ok so we went over to a shopping mart first, which was CARRE FOUR and bought some ingridents for steamboat b4 heading back to HC's uncle hse...had steamboat and some CHIVAS, which we bought over at the taiwan airport...after dinner, we had nowhere to go as it was raining so we decided to go to the ktv...but most of us were already feeling very shag cause of the CHIVAS and some were already vomiting...haha...for me, i didnt really vomit when i was at the ktv cause i had already finished it when i was at HC's uncle hse...lol...and so tat was how we spent our first night in taiwan...

17sept

our second night at taiwan was again spoilt by the rain...we had plans to go over to XIMEN DING de but it was raining so we had no choice but to stay at home...played some mahjong and watched some tv shows b4 we set out to a place, which i totally had no idea where it was, for our dinner...steamboat again...haha...after tat we went back home and continued to slack b4 heading to slp...

18sept

TYPHOON day...for the whole day, it was raining and we could go nowhere...stay in the hse for the whole day...but we did went out for a while...TO GET A FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE OF A TYPHOON...haha...CH, ALVIN, JH and ME stand in one straight row and waited for the typhoon to come, and took some photos...haha...for the first three days, we couldnt go anywhere...so we spent most of our time talking crap and watching tv...

and today is the most impt day...i found out tat i was conned by the NOVENA SQUARE money changer uncle...fucking indian...we went to MAC to have supper and i gave HC 100bucks...but the cashier told him tat the 100bucks was the old taiwan money notes, it couldnt be used...i was so fucking pissed...checked my wallet and found out tat half of my money changed was all old notes...CB...

19sept

finally, the typhoon was gone and we had the chance to venture out to XIMEN DING...had a brief browse through XIMEN DING and i bought a few stuffs...after tat we took the train and proceeded to DIAN SHUI...have my first taste of taiwan's SMELLY TOFU over there...it was nice...haha...then we took some photos over there and played some games, and won some prizes...haha...after which, we decided to go for foot reflexology...and OMFG, it was damn painful...i was screaming through out the whole process...lol...but its ok, cause i was accompanied by someone...HC was already screaming all the way...wahahaha...finally after the massage, we went to SHILIN NIGHT MARKET...had smelly beancurd again and other delicacies...shop ard again b4 we went home and ended our fourth day...

20sept

the next day, we went to JIU FEN...a place which holds the history of taiwan...went to walk ard and bought a few local food for my family and friends...then we went up to a cafe and chill out...the scenery there is splendid and the wind was damn big...after JIU FEN, we went to JI LONG NIGHT MARKET...once again, it was food, food and food...i love the glutinous rice over there...and tat how we spent our fifth day...

and on this day, i was trying to walk over the fan in our room and i accidently trip it over...and it fucking got spoilt...WTH man...and now i have to buy a new one...lol...

21sept

we travelled a distance from HC's uncle hse to his dad's hse, which was further on top of the mountain...we had actually wanted to go to the theme park in LIU FU CHUN de but it was raining again...so we changed our plans and went for the WEN QUAN...it was great over there, i felt totally relax when i submerged myself into the water...took a lot of photos over there, including my nude photo...lol...after the WEN QUAN experience, we went back to HC's dad hse and began crapping...and we got hungry again and went over to the nearby convenience store to grab some food...we sit there chatting and having our food...this is where the impt part comes...

when we were about to leave, a dog nearby kept barking and HC said some things and we began laughing...the path from the convenience store to HC's dad hse was pitch dark, and it was a littl scary...we walk tgt and finally reached his hse...we open the gate and run up the hse leaving HC alone to close the gate...when he return, he told us tat when he was closing the gate, a hand with three fingers grab him and let go...in the end, only ALVIN slept, while the rest of us stayed up and talk more of other ghost stories and many other interesting things...

22sept

the final two days...we couldnt go to the theme park again cause it was raining so we had to cancel the trip and stay at home...we had a mini bbq at the garage in HC's dad hse and by the time it ended, it was already in the evening...so we got our daily necessities and got ready to head down to TAI ZHONG, HC's mum hse...took a 1hr plus coach to TAI ZHONG and went straight up to HC's mum hse first b4 we went to the TAI ZHONG NIGHT MARKET...again the first thing we did over there was eat, eat and eat...then after tat we began to walk about and we bought a quite a few things, especially ALVIN...

23sept

finally today is the last day for us...we took the same coach back to TAIPEI again and packed our things, and got ready to set off for the airport...HC's dad drove us there and we bid farewell to him...even though we are leaving, but we did leave some things over there...our SORE EYES...lol...during our 7days over there, each of us got infected with sore and swollen eyes...and it not only affected us, it even passed on to HC's three other cousins...haha...and last of all, i have to say though we wasted the first three days as it was raining, but i still enjoyed myself a lot over there...

P.S: PHOTOS WILL BE UPLOADED ONCE I GET THE PICS!!!

2007-09-13T09:40:00.001-07:00

today's post shall be totally on pics...taken today with another newly acquainted friend, JASMINE...all funny and distorted faces...haha...shall not delay any further...HERE GOES:

my face looks like a horse, wahahaha

TWINS!!! =)

"BA GEI" JASMINE, lol

2007-09-10T10:43:00.000-07:00

having been bloggin much lately but everything have been fine and going quite smoothly ard me =) been working hard for the past few weeks...almost working everyday...haha...totally no time for me to meet up with my friends =( and of cause no time and no interesting matters for me to blog about...wonder if there is still ppl viewing and reading my blog...lol...

ok anyway, the date is nearing and nearing to sept 16...the day i leave SG for TAIWAN for my holidays with my poly friends...YEAH...jus another 6 days and i'm off =D cant wait for that day to come =D

this is my new friend in novena square, LI FANG, she works there too...haha...anyway ppl, please don focus on her...lol, instead please focus on me =D cause i am sporting a new hairstyle which is really short and weird on me...wahahaha...anyway i also dono y the hell i am telling about my hair and asking u ppl to look at it...wahahahaha....

2007-08-30T09:46:00.000-07:00

time now is 12.42am, by right i sld be slping now as i have to wake up early tml to meet my friends but i seriously cant get to slp now...i feel so fucking piss off now...just tell me when, WHEN are u going to just let go of yr grip on me and give me some breathing space? when are u going to let me just decide on my future on my own and plan my own route...u just expect me to do everything in yr way claiming its all for my own good...but seriously i am 19 and i have my own mindset, u always say how much u have changed and how much freedom u have given me but its all bullshit...in actual fact, u have nv stopped controlling me...i know u are worry about me but yr care and concern is making me feel so pressurized and breathless...no matter how much i talk to u, u cant just seems to understand...i don wanna hurt u so i am bottling everything up and pouring them out over here but u are making things worse and it really makes me wanna just bitch everything in front of yr face...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, i just crave for the freedom i want and NEED, and being independent...i hope u will somehow find a way here and read tis post, but i think its quite impossible...

2007-08-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

TIME : 1.56AM

jus bath finish after reaching home not long ago...exams are finally over and once again, its those fun times...ITS THE HOLIDAYS!!! yeah...went over to HC hse for steamboat today after exams...tis isnt the first time i had steamboat with friends but its the first time we organise the steamboat at home, and bought and prepared all the food on our own...it was a fun experience...the feeling certainly outclass the feeling of going down to marina bay for steamboat...the 9 of us sitting down tgt having steamboat, the feeling is as though we are one whole family having dinner tgt...its simply splendid...WOAH =D

2007-08-20T09:26:00.000-07:00

did i do sth wrong this time round? or was it because of the previous incident? so u are doing the same thing to me now? no reply from u, no calls from u...jus simply nth from u...even if u don wish to talk to me or anything, at least let me know...its terrible sitting down alone at home thinking y things turned this way...can u at least give me one reason...jus one reason that is good enough for me to stop all this meaningless shit...

2007-08-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

nth much or interesting has happen lately...spent most of the time working and sleeping at home...new EPL season has finally started and the team i support was such a disappointment...jus two matches and they have already sunk rock bottom in the league table...SUCKS!!!

i tink its time i try to gain some weight...wahahaha...went over to GNC today to see how much the weight gainer supplement cost and its a whopping $111++, but luckily its a damn big bottle...i must gain some weight first b4 i go to the gym for some training...haha...

2007-08-08T09:26:00.000-07:00

went down to bedok north street 3 511 for dinner with jian hao, hsiu chi, zheng le and hwee today...ordered OYSTER OMELETTE, CHILLI CRAB, SATAY and BBQ STINGRAY...hadnt had all these in a long time, except for the oyster omelette...

after dinner, peili and biling came over and joined up with us...and we proceeded to a cinema named "PRINCESS" and caught RUSH HOUR 3...the cinema is damn retro...still got mosquitoes flying about de lor...wahahaha...

THANKS EVERYONE FOR SPENDING MY 19th BIRTHDAY WITH ME!!! THANKS

2007-08-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

k box today at hougang plaza after cisco and MDI test...finally after so long, we got to go k box again...haha...went with this four buddies...

BUDDY NO. 1 - HUANG HSIU CHI =X

BUDDY NO. 2 - LIM CHIA HWEE =)

BUDDY NO. 3 - WANG JIAN HAO =0

BUDDY NO. 4 - TEO ZHENG LE =D

MY BUNCH OF CRAZY PEEPS ^^

and guess what, they gave me a surprise...they bought a birthday cake for me...haha...thanks a lot guys...i am really touched but then i couldnt squeeze any tears out for u guys...wahahaha...i made a wish and i hope it will come true...

ME, MY BUDDIES AND MY CAKE =P

ME PRAYING FOR MY WISH TO COME TRUE, LOL

seriously, even though i didnt say it out in front of u guys but i really appreciate from the bottom of my heart for everything u guys have done...THANKS FOR THE CAKE!!! see u guys tml =)

and finally, all the ICAs and projects are all over, and holidays are here...THREE CHEERS FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND THE ENDING OF THIS TORTUROUS SEMESTER!!! oh ya and THREE CHEERS for my wonderful LKs...

2007-08-04T07:27:00.000-07:00

went for early birthday celebration today with my family...headed down to suntec city for japanese cusine, at KUNSHIN BO for lunch...had a sumptuous lunch and after that we bought 4 tickets for the movie "THE SIMSONS MOVIE"...it was a really funny show, with no storyline and a hell lot of lame yet funny scenes...shopped ard suntec after the movie and i bought two clothes, both from G2000...one is a formal wear which i got it at half the price(29.50) and a black t-shirt from G2000 blu at 10 bucks...

2007-08-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

2.52am, jus reach home from geylang...went for supper with hwee, chi, hao, biling and jasmine...dou jiang you tiao from YOU TIAO DA WANG, frog porridge and finally went for durian...felt so full jus now, but now i tink half of it have already been digested and i can still eat somemore...wahahaha...

today went to relief at central mall...it was so quiet over there, i can even count how many customers came in with my both hands...haha...so in the end, i was doing stocking for almost the whole day and chatting away...bu zhi bu jue i have already been with giordano for 3 mths le...times really flies...still rmb the time when i jus started out at giordano, like an idiot standing there not knowing wat to do...but slowly as i learn the ropes of the retail trade, tings got better and it really help me in some ways...like when i am doing presentation for my project, i do feel so nervous anymore...i feel more comfortable speaking in front of a bunch of ppl now, not like in the past, where i will tremble a lot when i speak...wahahaha...

got to know some shocking news today...wat is it about i wont say but it can be quite a serious matter...jus hope it didnt really happen as it concern my friend...

2007-07-31T08:53:00.000-07:00

haven been updating my blog recently as i will really busy with many things...tests, projects tat are due tis week, work and accompanying jerome...jerome jus left for china last sun morning...and previous night b4 he left, i went to mos with him and reeve...and we got into a fight with a 30plus yr old guy...seriously tat guy whom we got into trouble with is so fucking idiotic and stupid...initially reeve was quarrelling with someone else, but tis stupid guy came and show us a gesture, supposingly to challenge us...no matter how me and jerome tried to pacify him, he still wouldnt get away...so in the end we got into a fight...

two continuous day of clubbing has really drain me up...somemore now is the exam period where most of our projects are due with presentation and tests coming up...database project, nanyang green project, networking project, entrepreneurship project, cisco test and MDI test...jus finish the nanyang green project cum presentation today, and the only word i and use to describe will be TERRIBLE!!!study break is finally within reach and i cant wait for tat day to arrive...when tat day comes, i shall chiong with my work and save enough money for my taiwan trip...and most importantly i have to set aside some time for my studies...cause i still have 3 sem paper on 20, 22 and 24 aug...

8/8 is coming and tat can only mean, i will be turning 19 soon, in another 8 days...time jus passes so fast, i can still clearly rmb how i spend my bday last yr...it was the most fucked up bday i ever had...haha...anyway, tis yr i tink i wont be celebrating with anyone except for my parents...i tink i would be working on 8/8 ba...take leave i also dono wanna go where...so pathetic, so i tink working on tat day would be a better option for me...

HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF =)

2007-07-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

database presentation today and it sucks...the lecturer is so damn fuck up...keep asking us to do the same ting over and over again...somemore still do a fuck up "THUMBS DOWN" gesture...ahhhhh bth...

after presentation headed down to "THE MIND CAFE" at boat quay with my classmates...tat place is really a great place for chilling and laughing yr head off...its a cafe where u can enjoy board games and many other games with yr friends...its damn fun...we played quite a few games like UNO stacko, GUESS IT, FIRST HAND, ZEUS and UGLYDOLL...the most interesting one for me should be GUESS IT and the most dull of all will be ZEUS...its really funny looking at my classmates acting out all those stupid expression and i had my share too...really had a great time over there especially when u are having yr exams week..."THE MIND CAFE" is really a good place for u to relax yrself...

went down to bukit batok to meet jerome after enjoying myself at boat quay...finally met up with rome ever since he came back from china last wed...chat about a lot of tings with him and it feels great finally to see him again...

anyway today was a great day...WOOHOO!!!

2007-07-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

now is 11pm, jerome sld have already reach singapore 2 hrs back le...finally after so long, he is back again...forgot to ask him how long he is going to stay tis time round...didnt went to the airport to fetch him and not gonna meet him today...maybe would be meeting him tml after my work...

tis few days haven been updating my blog cause didnt have much to blog about...anyway i wanna thank all my friends who supported me all the way when i was feeling emo...haha...thanks guys...

got all the pics we took last wed at zouk le, so i shall let the pics do the talking =)

2007-07-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

DO U KNOW TAT I LIKE U? i keep tinking about u, wat am i to u? wat is the relationship between us? i keep pondering and pondering and jus nth comes out of it, and all tat i get is pain, pain and pain in my heart...i really cant take it...y am i doing all tis tings to myself...maybe i am jus plain silly and foolish tinking u will also develop feelings for me...i yearn for u but yet u seems so far away from me...SO NEAR YET SO FAR...pls pls pls, i beg u, jus tell me how u feel...i wanna confess to u but i am afraid i might scare u off and in the end i cant even be yr friend...

thanks to my friends for being there...THANKS...

2007-07-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

movie with HAO and CHI yest night...caught TRANSFORMER and hell yeah, it was a great show...after movie, we went to meet HWEE for late night supper as AMK s11...thanks for everyting yest...really thankful to them, if not i would be worse off now den yest night...

i seriously am clueless about u and wat i sld do next...tell me how u tink, will u? u are going hot and cold towards me and i feel so insecured...i am willing and want to wait for u...but u haven not given me any assurance tat my wait wont be in vain...maybe like wat HWEE and CHI said, i sld jus forget u and get over it...or maybe we jus arent meant to be...i dono wat u wan from me and how u feel towards me...the feeling is so sickening...

the night is so long and lonely, i jus wish for u by my side...can u tell me is the feeling i get now means tat i am serious about u?

2007-07-06T10:09:00.000-07:00

met up with cheryl today at AMK HUB with watching TRANSFORMER in mind but in the end we cancelled it and jus ent for dinner...decided to watch it tml...anyway i have two free tickets tml so its better tat way...so we went to an unknown food shop and had our dinner there and proceeded on to ANDERSON's for some ice cream...ordered couple fondue and started our camwhoring...wahahahaha =)

ME and CHERYL =D

US again =x

candid shot by cheryl

tat siao zhar bo happily playing away with her chocolate =x

blurry look...wahahahaha...

candid shot by ME!!!

opps, my nosetrils kana poke =x lol

SO BORED

attended a seriously mentally and physcially boring lecture and the camera began rolling...haha...took quite a few pics during the lecture but its all been destroyed and i'm left with jus tis three pics...wahahaha...there was another two more pic taken at AMK HUB arcade...but AH HWEE haven send me so cant upload...

2007-07-03T07:35:00.000-07:00

bored NANYANG GREEN lesson led to tis five pics...lol...and the koala bear from arron also played a part in it...wahahaha...so without further bullshitting, i shall present to u the artpieces from my classmates, CHIAHWEE...haha

KOALA BEAR ATTACK!!!

ME & HWEE =)

MY KOALA BEAR FROM ARRON =DDD

ME AND HWEE AGAIN =x

ok, i am anxiously waiting for september to come so tat i can go for my trip to TAIWAN with my poly mates...i know it would be fun going with them cause they are a bunch of funny ppl...wahahaha...so my main goal for now is to save up enough money for the trip so tat i can enjoy and shop like hell over here...SAVE, SAVE, SAVE =) and SHOP, SHOP, SHOP =D

2007-06-29T08:30:00.000-07:00

ok finally after so long, i have some pics to upload to my PATHETIC blog le...haha...skipped an hour of lecture today and went over to AMK for lunch with my classmates...after lunch, we headed over to AMK HUB as we still had quite some time b4 the next lesson starts...and we went to ANDERSON's for some ice cream...

MARSHMELLOW coated with chocolate, PERFECT =DDD

FAMILY FONDUE!!!

ok, i know we are quite BO LIAO =x JIAN HAO, CHIAHWEE, ZHENGLE and MINE fists =) wahahaha

after the ice cream session, we accompanied HWEE for a haircut...wanted to take a pic of his new hair style de but he didnt let me take it so no pics...haha...

soccer gathering every friday are a high, but the rain spoilt it for us...didnt manage to get the soccer FEEL today...lol...went for early dinner and the whole kpkb chatting jus start all over again...wahahaha...laughter everywhere and joy was in the air...WONDERFUL!!! great friends and great soccer mates from sec 1 til now...BOO!!!

2007-06-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

somehow i am feeling really sour now...i LOST big time...SERIOUSLY...

2007-06-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

holidays have drawn to an end and school has started...mon blues are a common in everyone's life...so tis week is the common test week and i am totally oblivious to it...wahahahaha...two tests in one single day has taken its toll on me...worst still i failed my database test two weeks ago BADLY...life has been somewhat of a balance recently...had my moments of ups and downs but i can still take it...

my blog is like so boring!!!have been blogging but no one seems to tag...HAI...wonder if anyone reads my blog?haha anyway its ok...my blog is for me to throw my frustrations and thoughts into it so even if no one reads it its also alright...haha so contradicting...

BOO!!!

2007-06-19T07:22:00.000-07:00

ok read my best friend's blog jus now...indeed i have really build a strong relationship with JEROME...even though he is in china now but we are still in contact with each other...before i knew him we werent in good relations with each other...we had some tiff with each other...i was even punched by him once...wahahaha...wonder if he still rmb...so after tat incident, we didnt really like each other...didnt tink much about being friends with him as he was really "guai lan" in the past...he didnt like me too cause i was also very "guai lan" and "kao bei"...lol...but we got into contact again with each other when i was in sec 3...

so in sec 3, we were in the same class but we still didnt really talk to each other...we had our own group of friends back then until a problem surfaced between me and another good friend, REEVE...so i left my group of friends and was left alone...it didnt get long before i got tgt with another group...guess who and tat JEROME...haha...at tat point of time, i feel like so "bu yao lian"...cause i was alone and friendless so i joined them...serious...the feeling is so unwanted...but luckily for me, we soon became best friends...actually he wasnt so guai lan after knowing him much...we might not have known each other very long(5 years) but i do believe tat i understand him quite well...

tis is a bond tat i really cherish a lot and i seriously don wish to lose tis friend...other then my family, he will be the next most impt person in my life...i really hope even when 20, 30 or 40 years down the road, we will still be the best of friends...haha...see u when u return back to SINGAPORE...seriously MISS U!!!wahahaha...

2007-06-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

so u feel tat i am trampling on your pride jus cause u were the one who msg me first...fine feel tat all u wan...i have got nth to say except tell u tat right from the start, i have no intention and don wanna trample on your pride...if u were already feeling regret when u decided to msg me den wat for did u msg me? so if i was the one who msg first, sld i also feel so regretful and tat u are trampling on my pride...pls don tink solely on your part...right from the beginning i didnt force u to msg me but u did and now u come and claim i am trampling on your pride...

u waited and u asked cause u like me...pls don make it sound so one sided...i had my share of waiting and asking too...but u made me feel like a fool...so now i am jus one bad ass who has done his everyting jus to hurt u and trample on your precious pride...WTF man...tis is getting so tiring...tis whole affair jus sucks to the core and it sldnt have happen...i can only have myself to blame...

u live your life and i shall live mine...i will walk on and u will too, on our own separate ways!!!

2007-06-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

ok finally i am able to start blogging about today...haha...went over to sembawang to cut my hair and it really sucks...the lady over there is like so stupid dono where to cut lor...i tell her jus shave the left side but she shave both sides...alamak...den when i tell her, she stop and act like nth happen and continue to cut my hair...idiot la...ok nvm, when i wanted to pay the money, she was like so reluctant to return me back my 2 bucks...WTF la...and its like so exp...18 bucks...i regreted it so much la...every cut she made, i jus felt like crying...i sld have jus went to AMK AVE 10...there is like so cheap...7 bucks and its better than her...ok enough talk about tis dumb lady...

headed down to raffles place to meet CHIA HWEE but in the end i had to walk all the way from raffles place to city hall...lol...den the others began to turn up one after another(JUNYI, JIAN HAO, HSIU CHI and JOHNNY)...so we proceeded down to a pub cum restuarant at millenia walk for a drink and dinner...after tat we went down to citylink to meet biling and went over to raffles city for a more stomach-filling dinner...haha...

JUNYI and JOHNNY left for home first after dinner and the rest of us went over to esplanade for some la liang la liang session but there was no wind at all...lol...in the end went to a cafe and sat down for a drink...wanted to take pic de but didnt manage to take any...lol...so no pics to upload...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SO MAKE A WISH!!!

2007-06-10T08:42:00.000-07:00

once, the three of us were such good friends but one wrong move, one misunderstanding and failure to communicate mess it up...i know i sld take much of the responsibility for tis whole screwed up mess but i found tat there was nth much tat i could do except living in regret...so i lived with tis much of regret in me and tried to move on forward...i tot i was the one who had really changed for the better between the three of us...but now den i realised tat i was actually the only one who was nv able to pull myself up again and move on...u guys have managed to get back to your senses and move on, while i am stilling living in my own imaginative dimension...a world far apart from reality...i feel so worthless...i made a real mess of my own life and now i cant retrieve those moment we had tgt and the memories we shared...its all too late...

2007-06-08T09:25:00.001-07:00

ok i finally went to see the bone setter today...the process of "fixing" my ankle wasnt very long or pain but wat the bone setter told me is more shocking...he said i might not be able to walk in the future...and i was like going WTH...so i asked him if my ankle was able to heal, he didnt even answer my qn and jus asked me to rub some ointment myself at home...he even told me tat the swell on my ankle will nv go away and will stay forever like tat...hai...anyway i tink i am going down again next tues or mon...

ok there is tis girl who asked me to blog about her...she told me to blog tis, "i jus got to know tis girl in sch, and her name is GLADYS...well i like her alot..." haha...anyway she is a pig who say i look very fierce and whenever she see me she will walk fast fast...to avoid me...lol...anyway if she read tis post den i have got sth to tell her...LETS GO ***** TGT SOMEDAY!!! haha =)

2007-06-06T08:52:00.000-07:00

tis is getting so irritating and frustrating...y do i seems to be at fault all the time?ok i said i didnt wanna msg too much cause of my hp bill, and since u were online, y not chat online...is tat such a wrong ting to say?in turn u use tis and keep making a dig at me...using your most fatal weapon to kill me bit by bit...do u really have to use all your sarcastic words at me?u dono how much pain it will cause, dont u...its jus like thousands and thousands of flying needles flying towards u and keep prickling into your heart...

u are always telling all the crap about how u know your words kills and u feel bad everytime u do tat...but can u tell me wat the point of u telling me all tat when u don change at all and continue with all tat...i have already given in so much to u and yet u are always so self centered...u wan everyting to go your way and revolve ard u...its is nv possible...

tell me how would u feel if i keep talking about other girls in front of u and how intimate i am with them...would u feel happy or would u feel hurt and jealousy...pls, i am begging u...tink of how i will feel when u say anyting tat u know will hurt...tink before u say anyting and not say finish le den regret and ponder over wat went wrong...

i am not saying i am totally faultless in tis whole matter but den u sld know tat u cant push the blame away from u too...u are in fault too...i totally believe in u but wat u do and wat u say is so contradicting...i dono which to believe...can u pls enlighten me!!!!

2007-06-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

been missing for quite sometime, finally found the time to blog...ok finally we are both back to normal...not bickering or squabbling with each other anymore...everyting's all fine now...i still love u as much as before...but cause of those two days i understand u more and its a good ting...haha...

anyway been busy with lots of tings recently...my great grandmother jus passed away and now my grandfather is also in hospital...diagnosed with cancer and i heard its in its final stage...so had to shuffle back and flow between school, work and the hospital...so much tings happen in jus a mere two weeks...joyful occasions and many sad and tearful scenes...couldnt take it so much all at once and i broke down during my great grandmother's funeral...but i have since pulled myself up...with so many tings happening, i truly feel tat we sld cherish all the ppl u care for ard u before its too late...not wait for tings to happen before u start to regret...

i once heard tis story of "three brothers"...the first is named LOSS, second was REGRET and lastly CHERISH...strangely tis three brothers will nv show up before us tgt...they always come up to us one after another...the first brother, LOSS will always be the first one followed by REGRET and den CHERISH...tis is so common in everyone's life...often we have to lose sometings first, then we start to regret and den we learn to cherish...

2007-05-26T09:19:00.000-07:00

another two ppl have voice out tat i looked like xiaogui le...alamak...do i really look like him...haha...currently got three ppl i rmb saying tat to me, calvin, eve and wendy...though got a few more others said tat but i forgot is who le...anyway my first pay is finally here...i tink the total amount is about 306 ar...two weeks de pay...quite good le la...

gonna go see a bone setter on thurs...my ankle hurts...tink its time to really listen to CINDY le...i don wanna be unable to walk when i am old...i would rather die...jus heard from my mum tat my ah gong has been admitted to the hospital...hmm shall try my best take out some time from my busy schedule to pay him a visit...

2007-05-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

finally i am home from my great grandmother's funeral...today was the last day of it, or u call it the "chun bing" day...it was my first experience but it wasnt a nice one...how could anyone feel good when someone close to u passed away right...so we walked a short distance den got onto the bus and left for LIM CHU KANG, where my great grandmother's body would be cremated there...cant help it but tears kept dropping down when i saw her coffin being pushed into the machine...everyone was breaking down...its such a sad scene and i didnt like it...

yest i also had my virgin experience of praying for my great grandmother...it was a tedious process cause it didnt jus end one time...we had to go thru it several times...i was very calm at first but when i saw my ah ma crying, i felt hurt...i didnt wanna see her tat way...initially i managed to held back my tears but as the process goes on, i really can hold it back anymore and jus let it down...the only ting i regretted was not being able to see my tai ma for the last time...after all tat praying, all the paper houses and money were all brought over to a nearby rubbish dump for burning...everyting was set in place and flames were set on...raging flames engulfed the whole area and it was beautiful...burning flame in the night...yes it was a really beautiful sight but it was not a beautiful feeling...

2007-05-20T08:36:00.000-07:00

i jus reach home from my great grandmother's funeral at jurong...she passed away yest night...i was sleeping halfway thru the night when my mother suddenly came into my room and woke me up, telling me tat my great grandmother had jus passed away...i was shocked...i knew she could have gone anytime but her death still came as a shock to me...so sudden in the middle of the night...but den she went away peacefully and i am happy for her...lots of love to her...hope she will be happy in the other world...

anyway i met with another shocking incident jus now when i went to took my bicycle...i found it stuck with a piece of paper on the handle, so i took a look...it says "u have parked your bike illegally"...when i saw it i was like WTH...i didnt know i couldnt park my bike outside the mrt station...is it really illegal...somehow i tink its so hilarious yet shocking to me...haha...

2007-05-18T09:31:00.000-07:00

i am feeling so damn piss now...i cant log in to my cisco to do my online test...the password was changed and i was not informed...WTF...anyway i also cant blame my classmates la...maybe it was cause i didnt pay attention in class or the password was given to us on the day tat i didnt attend lesson...hai...so now i have got no choice but to wait til mon...jus send a email to my lecturer to inform him about tis matter...die le la...the deadline is tml...how?what am i going to do...i don wanna fail my module jus cause of tis stupid ting...knn...

anyway went down to town today to meet cindy for dinner and movie...went to have dinner at YOSHINOYA and it was totally not filling at all cause i am hungry now...after tat we went over to esprit to browse thru and try on some formal wear for myself...found a pants and a long sleeve shirt tat i like...so i got the code down and gonna pass it to my mum so tat she can get it for me at half price...yeah...after which we headed over to taka for a bit of window shopping before proceeding to SHAW HOUSE to get our tickets...

watched "NEXT"...tis was the second time i watched a movie at LIDO and i didnt know LIDO 1 was such a big cinema...lol i'm a country pumpkin...haha...the show was quite nice, with some pretty funny scenes...but the ending was a bit crap...haha...anyway overall it was a nice show...

2007-05-14T06:25:00.000-07:00

two weeks have passed and i have also worked in GIORDANO for two weeks le...slowly getting the hang of how retail shops work...my colleagues are all really nice and great to me...i simply love working with them...however one of my colleagues, KANA is leaving us soon...she's quiting and her last day is on 25th may...i joined but she left...hmm how sad...anyway gonna work for 33 hrs tis weeks...a whole 11 hrs more den the minimum amount of hrs i need to clear...

projects are stressing me up and there's a presentation tml...wth...so early in week 4 or 5 only leh...there is still the entrepreurship project and database project...the database is creating a lot of problems for me...firstly the teacher SUCKS and i dono and am not totally uninterested in wat the fucking hell he is talking...OH MY GOD MAN!!! someone help me!!!

i tink my injures on my right ankle has worsen...in the past i would only feel pain occasionally but in recent days, the pain has been getting more frequent...it hurts even when i take small slow steps...wth la...i wanna make it heal but i don wanna go and see a physician...how?

2007-05-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

i was lying down on my bed yest night and many thoughts began to gather in my mind...wat if one day i suddenly met with an accident and die or jus simple vanish from tis world...how many ppl will still rmb tat i ever existed in tis world?i have so much questions tat i cant ans...can someone give me the ans for my questions...as we grow older, each and everyone of us will gradually start to have our own life...will u still rmb those "insignificant" ppl who once appeared in your life?jus how many ppl will rmb me after i died?how many ppl will grief for me, cry over my death and feel sad for me?i appeared in many ppl's life once but will i be rmb by them...maybe only by those who were really close to me...all at once i jus feel so small and insignificant...

there are so many tings tat i know i sldnt be doing yet i am always doing it...y is it so?i cant control my actions, cant stop the feelings from coming...i don wanna be like tis but yet i am born like tis...i wanna change but yet i am not determined enough...y is it so tough?

2007-05-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

got tis stupid idiotic PIG cum COW cum DOG asked me to post all our pics on my blog...since i am such a nice person so i will obliged to her request and upload it to my blog...haha...

2007-05-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

today's my first day at giordano and its great...the ppl there are nice...so far i have got to know 4 of my colleagues...stephanie, lin, fetty and eve...and i only realised all my colleagues were female when i reach there...i tink i gonna get bullied by them...lol...anyway they are real nice ppl...

a few tings happened on my first day at novena square's giordano...but i can only rmb three...the first one was so paiseh...i was supposed to go to toa payoh central's giordano to get my uniform as my working place there didnt have my size...so i had to go down to toa payoh...ok so i reach toa payoh central and saw tis two shops...one was giordano and the other was bossani but i didnt saw the bossani logo and tot it was giordano too...so i went straight up to the salesgirl there and say tis:

me:hi, i am eddie from novena square...i am here to get my pants...
salesgirl:*BLUR* novena?
me:ya
salesgirl:tis is bossani leh
me:*STUNNED!!!* and runs over to giordano

wahlao lor...its so damn paiseh la...feel so stupid lor...i tink the salesgirl also tink so...somemore the whole of bossani workers were like looking at me when i walk off...DAMN DOWN!!!

tat was the first incident...the second incident was a theft case...tis young lady who looked demure came into our shop and started browsing over the clothes...my colleague LIN offered to help her get the clothings she wanted for her a few times but she rejected LIN's offer everytime...so LIN didnt bother her anymore...anyway after tat she went to try the clothes she took and i went to the toilet at the same time...when i returned she was already done with her trying of clothes and i didnt thought much of it as she was acting normal...when she walked out of the shop, my supervisor STEPH ran out and asked her back...and she was caught stealing a pants...luckily for her STEPH decided to let her off...

and the final incident is like so dangerous...i was scheduled to work from 5 til closing on my first day...so at about 9 plus, we were starting to do hsekeeping and do closing...i was vacuuming the floor in the staff room when tis really big and long metal bar fell onto me, hitting my ear...u know those metal bars used to separate the "doors" into two...its so damn pain la...my ear is still red and pain now...first day only and so much tings have happened...i tink i am a suay kia...haha...bring bad luck to the shop...but luckily we hit our target of 2.5k today...starting working tml at 1.30...gonna slp now...shall endure for 3 mths...take care everyone...

2007-04-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

met up with audrey yest and accompanied her to paya lebar...cause she had to go for an exit interview with GIORDANO at SG WAREHSE...she is so idiot la, keeping doing funny tings make me laugh...we were like sharing a umbrella as it was raining...den she suddenly started clapping away...

me:u siao ar...y suddenly clap ur hands...
audrey:i bo liao ma...
me:sot de leh(laughs at her)
audrey:*continue clapping*

funny la she...haha...actually was only accompanying her, but in the end i apply for a part time job with GIORDANO as well...and i was hired immediately on the day i was interviewed...guess they really needed ppl...haha...tis pics were all taken on our way home in the train...actually still got one more de, but tat stupid audrey don wanna send me...

both my arm muscles are hurting like hell...its so painful tat i cant even stretch out my hands straight...it hurts everytime i try to straighten my hand...it all the doing of wed's trip down the gym...but i didnt regret it, jus tat it now hurts damn lot...haha...jus finish my weekly soccer game, and it was really fun and entertaining...always enjoyed every game and moment with my soccer cliques, who are also my sec sch friends...though the numbers are getting lesser and lesser due to NATIONAL SERVICE but its still great playing soccer with them...

2007-04-26T03:40:00.000-07:00

back home from orchard...went down with the thought of getting a pair of slippers and two tee from topshop...but i am like so suay la...i went to the wisma's topman first and saw the shirt tat i wanted...so i tried it on...one plain yellow and the other one plain grey...the grey one was jus suitable for me but the yellow one was too small so i decided to try my luck at shaw hse' topman first b4 buying it...so went over to shaw hse with weiqi and liling...guess wat when i reach there...the yellow one was jus nice for me but the grey one was like too small again...wth...simple jus opposite from wisma...so in the end didnt manage to get any...

after which we proceeded down to heeren to buy my slippers from NEW URBAN MALE...got tis pair of havaianas at the price of 39.90...thks to liling...cause of her ngee ann admin card, i was entitled to 20% off the original price...isnt tat great...haha...headed to sakae sushi for the buffet at heeren and saw many obscene actions...haha...wat a show!!!so damn full now la...i'm having a small tummy now...

2007-04-25T07:36:00.000-07:00

gym with keong and jun rong today...keep tinking of making a trip down the gym long ago but couldnt find the time to go down...today finally went down...so long since i trained in the gym...it feels great after a workout but my arms are aching now...so long didnt went down, my strength decreased a lot...tink i will have to head down the gym more often now...

meeting "DEAR DANIEL" tml...accompanying her to paya lebar for her exit interview...meeting her at 8 at khatib mrt station...tink i gonna go slp after posting my entry...

2007-04-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

sch started at 9 today and i was late for like 5 min but there was a 10min grace so it didnt matter much...so the first lesson was RAD(RAPID APPLICATION DEVELOPMENT)...quite an interesting module and i managed to capture and understand wat the lecturer was teaching...after RAD was a 3hr break cause one of the lectures were cancelled...i really hate 3hrs break cause it really makes me tired and there is nth to do...so waited an hr for weiqi's break time and had lunch with her and her friend, jacelyn...our lunch conversation was like so damn funny, even jacelyn whom jus know me also cant take it and kept laughing...

after lunch, it was an hr of lecture but i didnt attend it...i was like accompanying jun rong and angela for lunch, den keong came too...so long since i saw rong and keong...and a real funny chat den went up to weiqi's class find her...and we? so jus ME did a lot of funny tings outside her class...so entertaining la...

after all tat, i proceeded to my next class at blk M for NETWORKING AND COMMUNICATIONS...its actually cisco which i learned in my yr 1 sem 1...but during my yr 1 sem 1, i didnt really pay attention to wat the lecturer was teaching so i was like totally oblivious to wat cisco or networking is really all about...but today's was more interesting, maybe it was cause i really listen to the lesson and tried to try out all the questions...it was actually quite a fun module too...

headed down to yew tee after sch for my weekly supply of soccer games with my soccer cliques...there was a hell lot of ppl playing today when i reached...some were not friends of mine but we played tgt...had fun playing but den tis guy came and elbow me in the face...dono if it was intentionally or unintentionally, but i was damn pissed off so started ranting off at him...but we didnt stop the game til i had cramps in my left leg...den when i was resting my leg, the soccer ball suddenly flew over and hit my mouth when qz was disturbing me...which cause my lips or gums to bleed...lol...so unlucky right...dono y whenever i play soccer sure kana all tis kind of tings de...ahhh...

2007-04-16T05:30:00.000-07:00

its heavy, its really so heavy i tink i cant hold on to it anymore...the feeling isnt nice and it hurts but i cant get rid of it...the feeling of sadness, guilt, unwillingness and many more other feelings which i cant describle...but happy is definitely not one of the feelings i feel now...its confusing even i dono how i sld face it and handle it...tis feeling is so instense tat if i cant remove tat big "stone" in me, i tink i can nv do anyting well...i have nv ever felt tis way b4...can u pls remove it for me? my heart pumps one beat slower everyting i tink of wat i have done and i jus hope time will reverse or stop so tat i wont feel so pain...

sch reopened today and once again, tat feeling came again...i feel so left out and alone...especially when it comes to forming groups for projects...tis feeling is so great and its compressing in me...i really hate tat feeling and wat more, i have the mixed feeling in me too...tis two different feelings is killing me like hell...as though someone is in me trying to rip off everyting in me...it hurts to the core...

2007-04-15T07:23:00.000-07:00

wrong wrong wrong...i am jus so damn wrong...i know u are disappointed with me, i feel the same way to...i dono y i will do tat in front of u...but it cant be reversed anymore...no matter how many sorry i say, i jus cant get rid of the gulit i feel towards u...its like having a big stone lying on top of my heart and i jus cant move it away...its making me feel bad...i am jus so damn wrong...sorry girl, will u ever forgive me? will be like jus how we started and i wont ask for more...

edited/

wonder how will we two react when we see each other in sch...i know y u don wish to see me but we are bound to bump into each other one day...will u greet me like how we were in the past or will u avoid me like a plague?i am sorry for everyting...sorry for creating tis stupid mess...sorry for letting my own stupidity act ruin everyting we had tgt...

2007-04-11T09:53:00.000-07:00

i tot of u again...i tried so hard to forget u but u jus came into my mind again jus now...all the tings we did tgt, the first time u cooked for me, the first time i ate your food, the first time i say i love u to u and so many other first times...everyting, everyting, everyting is jus so clear in my mind...even though its like so long but i still cant forget u...y...

went to kk's freshman bbq today at east coast...was really fun and all the ppl there were great, not like tat particular someone in my freshman class...ok, had a bit of liquor over there and i was like very high...cause i drank it pure, without any mixture...took some pics while on our way down...

the sunglasses tat i bought today...

2007-04-10T00:22:00.000-07:00

fucking hell...my mum is really so damn noisy...y does she always wanna force me to do tings tat i don like...wat have i done wrong, all she ever does is shout at me, if not scold me...i tink the only use i have for her is for her to shout and tick me off...yes she does treat me well sometimes, but tat is really only if she feels happy...but she can turn nasty the next moment when i tell her i wanna go out...WTF...wat am i to her?a pet?i am 19 yrs old for goodness sake, i have my own life so stop trying to interfere with my life...i have been bottling up all the feelings cause i still treat u as family...pls don make it to the point tat one day, i have to spill all tis feelings out and ruin everyone's life...u say i am not changing but are u...pls really change those stupid mindset of yours...u ppl can say i am unfilial or watever u guys can tink of but i don care...cause i really jus wan a life of my own, not a life tat is being controlled by my parents...GOD!!!who can help me change my parents mindset...they are making my life miserable...

2007-04-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

ok jus got back from my freshies bbq at khatib...initially it was a very fun event for me...but tis stupid idiotic guy jus ruined it for me...he damn pissed me off...who the fuck does he tink he is...showing utter disrespect and talking as though he knew everyting when he didnt even know one ting at all...i really despise tis kind of guys la...yes, i might not click well with the guys but i oso didnt offend u in any other way...so don tink tat wheni act nice and friendly in front of u, i am a easy target for u to bully...understand, u fucking idiot...if u wanna say all those tings in front of me, y not say it out in front of all the OGLs...see wat u will get from them...i shall not say names here but if u see my post den u sld be able to distingush who i am talking about...ok enough talk about tis idiot...continuing will only make me more piss off...

today we, OGLs, had to return to sch again without knowing the reason y...when we got there, then was we to find out the real motive behind the "return of the OGLs"...lol...we were going to be involved in another 4 upcoming events...the first is xtreme venture which i tink is somewat like OUTWARD BOUND...then next was voice out, a singing compeitition...third, bandz out, a compeitition for bands, and finally phat nite, which i am in charge...ok phat nite if u dono about it, is actually somehow like clubbing...ok so even when sch starts, i will still have to stay back for meetings...WTH...

2007-04-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

met up with yiting today after my work and had lunch at sembawang...then she came over my hse and waited for me to get changed b4 we went down to yishun...she wanted to go to the night market at yishun to buy her handphone casing...she is like so idiot lor...dono how she use her phone de sia...can use til her battery got dented out...after which we went to GV and bought two tickets for the movie "THE NUMBER 23"...it wasnt as good as i had expected it out to be...after buying the tickets, headed over to northpoint for dinner and some arcade games...we two did a very embarassing ting over at the arcade...lol...don wanna say it here...it's our own little SECRET!!!haha...finally after the show, i saw her home b4 proceeding back for home myself too...

yest was a LOSERS gathering...haha...met bao cheng and group at cck and then we went over to sentosa...we were like a really big group la...18 guys going down sentosa...lol...when we finally reached sentosa it was like so late le la...somemore the weather was like so random...the sun came out and hid behind the clouds a few times and finally decided to pop out...but i wasnt in the mood to suntan anymore so sat down with xiaohei and gilbert for some trash talking...lol...went over for dinner at the harbour front interchange at bout 7 plus...and walked down to vivo for a little walk...

suddenly while walking ard vivo zhi rong asked us if we wanted to go over to his company for some wine...everyone agreed and the whole 18 of us went down to the WINE COMPANY at tanglin for some white and red wine...it's the first time i tried white wine but i cant really tell the difference between red and white wine...left the place at 1 and everyone was like getting so high...haha...took the NR 8 to orchard and transfer to NR 2 to get back home...it was a really fun day with the LOSERS...haha...get tgt some other days again...took some pics at sentosa...will upload it if i managed to get the pics...

2007-04-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

today is the final day of the freshman orientation...and i was like acting in a skit for the freshies...when i was at the backstage i was really nervous, no matter how much i try to relax myself, my heart jus pump harder and faster...like its gonna drop out any moment...finally when i was on the stage, i calm down a bit...cause i heard my freshies calling out my name when i was about to intro myself...at tat point of time, i was really shock but touched too...i didnt expect my name to be called out...somemore by the ppl tat i spend the least time with...i really feel sorry towards EI class 0710 for not being there with them for most of the orientation...so after the skit performance, went back to them and had lunch with them too at AMK...really fun ppl la those guys in class 0710...seeing them bond so well tgt also made me feel happy for them...hope they have a great time tgt with each other...if they ever read tis post...i jus wanna say, U GUYS REALLY ROCKS, SIMPLY THE BEST!!!

through tis few weeks with the ogl guys, i really had a lot of fun and learnt a lot of tings...the dance and the skit was the most impt ting for me...cause i put a lot of effort teaching the freshies and had to stay back late in the night to practice for the skit too...tis was all jus for the freshies...tis is the first time i am like so serious bout a ting, a ting tat i was so uninterested with in the beginning...tis was really a great experience for me...OGLs RULES!!!

2007-04-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

4th April :
today is the third day of the freshman orientation...and i was like still so busy la...the first ting i did when i reach sch after work was rushing to blk M to find my freshman and then headed down to blk E to teach my dancers all the dance moves that they haven learn yet...so after teaching it all to them, it was lunch time at like 12.40 and i had to reach blk S lecture hall at 1 sharp...the distance is like so far and i had only 10 or so min for my lunch...cant even slowly savour and enjoy my lunch, though the packet lunch taste like hell...

so after lunch, again rush over to blk S and began our skit rehearsal...it was like in a mess la...everyone was like so not enthu and kept wasting time...in the end the freshman dancers came too and we had to cancel our rehearsal and let the place for them for their trial run...finally when it was our turn to act for the lecturers to see, it was a total disaster...and the comments we got from our senior is like so BAD...somemore i had to act superman and wear a red underwear...lol...its looks so disgusting...practised our skit in the lecture hall till 6 and then proceeded to the auditorium for another rehearsal...

after our rehearsal, it was the freshman dancers rehearsal...as i was one of the dance instructors, i stayed back to watch the dance...and finally i am back home now...tis pics were like all taken today at the backstage...i was trying to act COOL!!!haha...

the red underwear tat i was supposed to wear...haha...

3rd April :

reach sch at bout 9plus, headed straight for blk L lvl 5 for the dance training...the guys in my dance groups are like so not enthu in the dance, so no choice...had to force them a bit...and finally we got it going and started practicing the dance steps...

during lunch time today, i was like so busy lor...like a bull running here and there jus to take the lunch up for all the dancers and cosplay ppl...and when i finally had the time to sit down and take my lunch...the food was like SHIT...fried rice with a piece of OTAH on top...wth was tat...somemore it taste like fuck...SUCKS TO THE CORE lor the food...still make me sweat like hell cause of tis kind of "delicancy"...

after lunch, it was practice all the way til 6pm b4 everyone heads home and we OGLS had to stay back for briefing till like 9 plus...everyday is like so late...no choice but nvm la cause i had fun dancing...

2nd April :
finally the freshman orientation have start...saw a few familiar faces during the registration...like weiqi(she in my course...lol...), miguel(in IT)and maurice(oso IT)...after the registration and all the videos viewing and skit in the auditorium, i finally met my freshman for the first time...brought them over to blk S for games...and i was like running from group to group to help out...and i was like dancing banana dance for almost all the group situated at lvl 3...so paiseh la...but no choice, have to do it...left my group of freshman at bout 3 or 4 cause of dance...so don really have much time to bond with them...but i can see they are nice peeps...

2007-03-31T19:45:00.000-07:00

i wonder if u read my post about u...if u had read if did u know the girl i was referring to was U! and if u had read it y didnt u give me any hints to tell me if the feeling is mutual...hai...maybe u did give but its jus that i didnt notice it...i'm an idiot when it comes to getting hints...even if i feel that it is a hint i'm still unsure til someone says it out that its true...wanted to tell u how i feel towards u yest night but jus couldnt muster up the courage to tell u...i don dare to say it put to u but at the same til i am afraid if i don tell u now i will only regret it later...tis feeling SUCKS!!!

ok, finally my job has left only like 1 week...its a relief to me...but next week i will be damn busy...gonna shuffle from work to sch...the freshman orientation is starting soon(tml)and i'm supposed to act in a skit, but i haven even rehearsal a bit...and i am scared i might give problems to the finale crew on the actual day...still i am looking forward to the orientation...got to know quite a few friends through tis ogl camp or watsoever u call it...and though i'm seldom present for the meetings or totally not there at all, but i still tink its fun...hope all goes well for the orientation and our skit will be a success...oh ya and wish i don give troubles to the finale crew on the actual day...

2007-03-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

well today when i was in the train going for my work, i encounter tis really brainless guy in the train...so as usual i was sitting down in the train trying to catch some sleep...i was half asleep half awaken when i suddenly heard tis voice talking very loudly...it was a guy's voice and he was talking really loudly...at first i didnt play much attention to wat he was talking but then he started scolding his teacher...so i looked ard and saw tis guy wearing school uniform...he was swearing at his teacher, cursing words like knn, the teacher cb one and always kpkb...when i heard those, i was like -_-!!!its ok if u wanna curse and swear his teacher, i did it before too when i was his age...but is it necessary for u to speak it out so loudly...in the end, it only makes u look bad...don u feel ashame...or is it tat u feel very proud to be able to speak your brainless mind so freely and openly...i cant comprehend wat tis guy is tinking about...well take care lad and stop cursing and swearing at peeps u dislike so LOUDLY, OPENLY and FREELY -_-!!!

ok i jus woke up from my afternoon nap cause of a call...rmb yest i said about the model agency, the name is i tink CREATE TALENTS...i oso not too sure...they called and ask me down for an interview tis sat...i was irritated when i ans the call at first as i was still slping but when i heard wat the lady in the phone said, i was immediately awoken from my slp and was utterly shocked...lol...can u imagine EDDIE becoming a MODEL -_-! and involved in some photo shoots for some sports wear...lol...i myself cant even imagine it...not sure if i'm going down tis sat...

2007-03-27T08:59:00.000-07:00

ok shall blog first before i proceed to my comfortable bed...went over to town to meet shuhui, my one decade friend, at 5 and i was late...haha...its the first time i am meeting her since her return from new zealand and she is leaving for holland soon...tat is y we plan tis meeting...haha...anyway its great to see her...she is still as lame as ever...walked ard orchard a bit before heading down to cine for a movie, STOMP THE YARD...ok, i shall comment on tis movie...tis is such an interesting and perfect show...i simply LOVE it...the dance moves in the movies are like so unbelievable...its jus GREAT!!!how i wish i also knew how to dance...jus a bit will do, i aint greedy...haha...tis is a 4.5/5 rating show man...

on the way to cine we were both approached by a modelling agency to help them model some sports wear or so i tink...haha...so unexpected for me...tis is my virgin experience being approached by a modelling agency...its feels weird but at the same time great too...y?cause its shows tat i am being noticed by others...haha...i know i am being a bit overly excitied...but hey its my virgin experience so give me a chance to rant on...haha...i know u guys have many experience like tis...

anyway though me and shuhui managed to meet up today, we didnt managed to take any photos...except for tis-

shuhui having her icecream right after pastamania...haha...

well she did took a picture of me at pastamania queuing up to order our food but her phone's cam was too blur so she deleted it away...hmm gonna miss her a lot when she leaves for holland...take care girl...

2007-03-26T00:40:00.000-07:00

i wan so much to tell u i like u...but i dono if tis feeling is mutual...i haven like u for a very long time but i know from the day i saw u til now the feeling has always been the same...if u know u are u the one i am talking about please give me a hint about how u feel towards me...otherwise i wont know how to tell u i like u...

2007-03-21T23:46:00.000-07:00

oh seriously man, i need to change to a new job...a job tat is more "presentable"...my current job is driving me nuts and making me so tired everyday...i'm not gonna say it out here again jus in case u guys use it to tease me again...haha...gonna find another job after april 7 but sch reopens on april 16 or 17 i tink...not sure if i will be able to find a flexible hours job, tat can accomodate my timetable, within such a short time...GOD BLESS ME!!! kk ask me yest if i wanted to join him as a trainee referee for bball...and i am still considering...the whole ting sounds so attractive to me...haha...oh and btw kk is someone i jus got acquainted yest...haha...

i tink i am have been confirmed to act as a gang member in tis coming orientation for the freshman...haha...its really a do nth role...i'm jus supposed to stand behind kk and act fierce...kk is gonna act as my big boss, nicknamed BIG HEAD...haha...and he can really act well as a gang leader...wahahaha...

tink i gonna change my style of dressing...i tink i have developed a fetish for the shop "NEW URBAN MALE"...their clothes are more to a sporty look and i tink it's nice...espirit and top man are not a bad choice either...i like top man's formal wear clothes...i'm gonna abandon my current style way behind BUT tat is only if i found a new job(no job no money)...haha...

ever since i cut my hair short, quite a few ppl have comment tat i look like XIAO GUI...u know the guy beside LUO ZHI XIANG in bhb...i'm not sure if tis is a compliment or an insult but i will take it as a compliment since xiao gui isnt ugly or anyting...haha...anyway i also like it the way now tat my hair is short...at least my eye doesnt get irritated or sore by my fringe anymore...

2007-03-20T05:20:00.000-07:00

currently chatting with wynny in msn now but still feel like blogging...tis few days have been quite busy...morning give out newspaper at city hall le jiu have to rush down to nyp for the ogl(orientation group leader) programmes...and it always ends at ard 7...its like so late when i reach home even though i always leave early...haha...the ogl group is quite fun and i am selected to act in a play...omg...can u believe it? eddie involved in a stage play...and everyone says i am the most suitable for tat role...guess wat? its acting as a gangster...ahhh...everyone is saying i look like a gangster...haha...wat can i do when i am being born with tis face..hai...haha...luckily i'm jus a supporting cast...i tink i have no lines jus purely standing on the stage acting as a gangster...lol...easy role!!!

feel like going to k box but there is no one who can accompany me...so pathetic...tat day i was chatting with wynny in msn den she let me view her thru her webcam so i secretly captured her picture from the webcam...haha..she says she looks stupid in the pictures...i tink when she sees tis post she will SMACK me...haha...i actually wanna put the pictures up for viewing de but she doesnt let me so no choice...haha...i will upload it next time when she doesnt realise it...wahahhaa...be careful ar wynny, u better treat me better...if not ur pictures will be out...wahahaha...

2007-03-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

hmm cant get to slp anyway...its been a long since i last woke up so early...ever since i went into NYP, i am always sleeping only after 12...9am, its 9am now and most ppl sld be happily sleeping away but i am here in front of my laptop blogging...WOW!!! its amazing...haha...

anyway i got two reasons y i cant sleep...one is cause of a particular person and the other one is my "princess"...ok lets talk about tis particular person...sth is bothering her and it starts to bother me too...i wonder how is she now...and i keep pondering wat might have happen to make her unhappy...i wish i could be of some help to her but apparently i am of no help...but if she i willing to spill it out, i will always be there for her...tat is if she is willing to tell me...anyway hope she gets along with it and don get too upset over watever is bothering her...take care da zhu tou...

and the second person who made me lost my sleep is my princess...i tot she would only be back on tues dawn but she's already back home and send me a msg...haha...i'm so happy tat she's back...its terrible having to miss someone and being unable to see tat person...great tat she's back so i can meet her on tues...wonder wat she has to say to me after seeing all those msg...

2007-03-17T00:42:00.000-07:00

my "princess" is currently in msia now attending a wedding dinner...wonder how she is doing over there...i miss her so much tat yest night i even dreamt of her...haha...nvm she's coming back on mon or say tues dawn...haha...

jus now when i was in the train, i saw a baby...he was very cute and many passangers in the train were also looking at the baby...some even try to play with him...so funny...but as i was looking at the baby, tis thought came into my mind...how gd would it be if i have a baby now...i know its impossible cause i cant support the baby financially and i guess no one wants to give birth to a baby with me now...haha...but when i look at the baby, i really wish i too had one myself...babied are really cute...