Thursday, November 02, 2006
1209 and i am still wide awake listening to songs...suddenly feel like blogging so here i am right now...jus saw someone's blog and saw her pics...she look so happy in it and i feel really happy for her...suddenly felt tat it was a good choice not to choose me cause if tat was the case, she might not be so happy now...i might end up hurting her...upon saying tis, i thought of another gal too...the fate of me and tis particular girl was a long way back...nv ever thought tat i would get to know her, much less falling in love with each other...when i first saw her, my mind was like i can only see her from a far, we will nv get to talk to each other or even know each other...but tings took a turn and without warning, she took a place in my heart and my life...she had walked into a place in my heart where she will stay there permanently...tis is the first time i felt tat way...nv thought it would happen to me...shortly after getting to know each other, we soon became really close...and i could really feel my heart pump a beat faster whenever i see her...no one and i really mean no one except her has ever made me feel tat way before...then someone close to tis girl told me tat she had taken a liking for me and i felt impossible...how could she ever like me...but it did and soon we were always tgt...though we werent tgt but i really treat her as my gf already during tat time...then there was one time when i say the three words to her...the next day her friend came and told me tat she was happy to hear me say those three words cause it was the first time i told her after knowing each other for so long...but the happiness for us were short lived...tings began to go wrong and many tings happened between us...and finally i lost her due of my own stupidity...at tat point of time when she left me, i really felt very depressed...everyday i would look at her pic and will have the urge to cry but each time i held back my tears and told myself to get on with my life...til one day i read sth tat she wrote and finally i broke down...the first time i cry so badly for a girl...she gave me a lot of first times...tings tat i have nv experience before til the day she came into my life...tat the reason y i haven been able to forget her til now...the memories i had with her, the times we spent tgt...its all still so vivid in my mind...its really not easy to forget...but i decided to keep her deep in my heart cause i realised in the end tat i am not going to be the one for her...though i once had the feeling tat she was the one for me...but i have to thank her too...cause of her, i will laugh, i will smile and i will cry...cause of her i know and felt the feelings of happiness and saddness...cause of her, i felt tings i nv felt before...she gave me a totally different feeling from other girls...but it was all not meant to be...she has her own life now and the most i can do now is pray from a far hoping she will be happy in everyting she does...
notes of a tragedy
8:16 AM
