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Saturday, November 11, 2006

this entry is delicated to everyone in this whole wide world...actually my every single post is delicated to everyone...ppl who reads my blog(i wonder if there is anyone though)...anyway i am not too sure wat to blog now either...jus suddenly have the urge to blog...ok i know wat i shall blog on today le...its the topic on love...

i believe love is sth tat everyone craves for, be it the old or the young...when u are in love, u will feel tat everyting is so perfect and u will be tinking of marrying the person u are dating now...but when tings go wrong and start crumbling down, tat where u feel the pain, the hurt and get depressed...recently one of my close friend jus got into tis kind of situation...i gave him a lot of advice and opinions of my own...advice and opinions tat will only ever come out of my mouth and nv in my actions...y...cause i don practice wat i preach...haha...anyway i tink my friend finally sorted out his thoughts and decided to let the girl go...i'm glad for him...

when i thought about it, i feel tat my friend is very lucky...though he has broke up with his gf but he has really experienced the feeling of love...its a feeling tat i have always wanted to have but unfortunately i have nv felt tat way before...the only girl i ever loved would be the one whom i had the most memories shared with her...tis memories will stay with me forever and nv be forgotten...i am not seen as a emotional person by many so i tink blogging is going to be the only way for me to really express myself and show the emotional side of me which no one has ever seen i guess...

i hate myself for not being able to express my feelings the way i want it to be...i hate myself for having the character tat i have now...i hate the way i feel so jealous and envy of others...and i hate the way tat i always bottle tings up to myself...basically i hate the way i am projecting myself to the outside world...after years of being so, i have become a person who doesnt show his true feelings out...often saying tings which is the opposite of how i really feel...i have built a wall in front of me over the years to prevent others from knowing the real me...which makes it difficult for others to understand and know the real me...i dono y i turned out tis way but tis has already happen and its difficult for me to really open up myself to a single person, not even my parents...maybe tat y i have nv shown any true feelings for anyone, in particularly girls...even if i truely love a girl no one believes me...i tink the way i project myself to others has made many to have distrust and insecurity in me...but who else can i blame except for yours truly(tat me)...


notes of a tragedy
9:23 AM