Saturday, December 09, 2006
plans for clubbing and sentosa today were all cancelled last min...cause keong couldnt make it and we decided to call off our sentosa outing...then shirlie called me in the afternoon and asked me to work for 16 days over at jurong west...i agreed and so had to call off my mos trip too...i also dono y i agreed to work...anyway i was damn pissed off by two idiots today at work...they are jus so bias against me...no matter wat i do they jus cant accept it...tat the reason y ppl always say u cant make everyone accept u for who u are...then after work, had a bit of ahcohol before sweeping our butts off the chair and proceed for home...when i was walking home. i dono y today i couldnt hold my liquor and i vomited...it was at tat moment when i vomited, many thoughts came thru my mind...i suddenly felt very miserable and so alone...y is tat so...i jus don understand...i have always been myself, being there for everyone who might need my help...but y is it tat whenever i need someother ppl's help, i don get any...its not as if i don have any friends...in fact i have lots of friends...but which one of them is really there for me when i am feeling down...i am not someone who likes to complain or grumble alot but still there are times tat i feel like pouring out all my woes to someone...but sadly to say...i cant find tat someone for me to pour out all my woes to...wat wrong have i done to deserve tis...or is it wat i had did in my past life and i am now in tis present life to repay for all the sins i had done...i said in my previous post tat i tink i am going thru my darkest period of time now...after a few days of happenings, i am now more than certain of it...and i know its going to last for a long time...actually i don expect much for my life...i jus wanna have a simple life with all my friends and family members giving me support and advice when i am down...it makes it easier for me to pull myself up again...but tings jus doesnt work out the way i wan it to be...life isnt perfect...its the ups and downs tat makes our life interesting but its getting too much for me handle...i am not the happy, cheerful, problemless and feelingless person tat everyone makes me out to be...behind every cheerful smile is a sad smile...
notes of a tragedy
10:59 AM